Why this blog? At this moment in time, I feel the words of Prof. Tariq Ramadan in his book “The Quest for Meaning” took the words out of my mouth: “This book is a journey, an initiation.” How deep, and meaningful. The moment I read it: it had been replaying on end in my mind, and on my lips, and in my heart. And then I knew: This blog is a journey, an initiation.
You see, I have been dying to use something of my ability (God knows what it is – and I am still in constant search for it) for He Who has given me everything. I can’t go on anymore now, doing nothing for Him who has given me everything, everything that I could have asked for – and what I haven’t. For every single moment that’s passed, it’s killing me to know that I am taking His numerous, endless gifts – let it be food, air, other countless comforts and so much more! – but at the end of the day, I had returned nothing, absolutely nothing to Him. He is in need of nothing, I know. But like the man (whom I had slowly, slowly came to fall in love with) had taught me, “Can’t this slave be grateful to His Creator?”
These words are arrows shooting right through the heart. I feel it. I know He is in no need of anything from His slaves – But I want to give something in return, I need to give something in return, for “Cant’t this slave be thankful to his Creator?” He knows, how deeply in need and how desperate I have become inside: that I want to do absolutely anything, everything, I can do – to prove to Him, that I am WORTHY OF HIS GIFT. This slave is worthy of receiving that guidance He had gifted whilst He Could Have Left me in the lost.
And hence, this blog: is an initiation. I know nothing else that I can possibly do now, at this rate. I’ve tried numerous others – and how I had seen them all come to an end. Attempts that had seen no successful ends. Looking back, I asked myself again: what’s left now? Deep down inside, I knew there’s only one thing left. The one road that I had been in constant denial to trudge upon on.
Words. I had and always been in love with words. They are profound. They are meaningful. They change. They affect. They create. They spark. They connect. Everything revolves around words. I am in love with words.
And so, I am taking this leap, I am making this step, and with this love, I am making my journey. My journey to Him. I hope He will be pleased.
“This blog is a journey, an initiation.”
It may worth nothing on the face of this earth. People may look at this effort in disdain. But I am looking at nothing else except for His pleasure: not the world, nor its people. So here’s a step: for the beginning of my journey.
Allah bear witness. I only have You along the way. Give me strength.